Irritated dog

Diary of 6th of September

6/9 is such a remarkable day to me. I think it is necessary to write it on record. So I could remember it forever! And maybe for some people who never went to a concert. They may find this useful.

That day, I went to the concert that I’ve been craving for two years. Thousands of people have been craving for  it as well. After our Hong Kong fans five years of waiting. They finally came. Linkin Park is touring in Hong Kong Arena tonight.

The show starts at 8. I was supposed to go there after finishing school. But I refused to. I skipped school. That was indeed the worst thing I’ve ever done. I faked sick. Got out of school and rushed home to change clothes then rushed straight to the venue by MTR. I should say it wasn’t that excited. It was just nervous and anxious. I was already confused about what is right and what is wrong.

Anyhow, I arrived there at 2pm. When was only about twenty or thirty people at the waiting line. Lucky, I would say. But that doesn’t calm this nervous kid down. I was feeling guilty and weird to have nobody with me. I read my book, random chatted with people around me and signed the banner I designed(lucky!). It was fine. Few hours passed, I didn’t know time can pass that fast when you read and just look around with anxiety. I looked behind. There were already ten lines more people waiting. I tried to imagine how would it be like if I get here at 5 after school. Terrible. I felt blessed. My legs were tired so I sat up and asked a kind girl from mainland next to me to take care of my belongings for a second, asked for a note to go out. They have to make sure no one will cut the line. The securities looked really strict indeed. I walked around because i was boring and I wanted to know how this Arena works. And maybe I’ll have a chance to take a peak on the band when they’re taking a break in the middle of rehearsal? Yes, I was that wishful thinking. That is me, a high school kid wandering around to see if her idol is around…

I felt stupid. I walked downstairs, upstairs, seeing Linkin Park fans with cool LP shirts everywhere. There were nothing special at all. So I returned to the line where the people have already stood up. I had to look for my bag because the line was tighter as people walked up. A mainland guy handed my bag for me. For the first time I felt good for the mainlanders of how nice they’re. We stood there for more than ten minutes, nothing was happening. I wondered who told them to stand up. I invited the mainland girl who has been waiting alone just like me tostay together in the line. She was staying behind. She was nice and friendly. We talked and shared each others stories. She has waited for a Linkin Park concert for 6 years. And I feel ashamed that i couldn’t remember clearly which city she came from. I’m not sure is it shenzhen.

The line was getting tighter and tighter as the people were trying to squeeze up to take the front position. Kids started screaming with excitement. Looked like the guards were letting us in. We were all very excited. They screamed about things I didn’t even know what it was. Securities were getting alert. Its their job to make sure no one gets hurt when entering the stadium. But that seemed impossible. Finally, the doors opened and the staffs started tearing tickets. I’ll never forget that moment. Everyone around was running just to get the best place to stand.  My new friend grabbed my arm and rushed at the closest spot together. We took the second line of the standing zone. It felt like the first time a child running in an amusement park. It was something I’ve never experienced. I never had that feeling in an amusement park as a kid.

That was just a gentle start. At the stadium, I have to struggle to stay in the second roll because there was a puffed guy standing in front of me. He and his friends are nice people so I won’t blame him. The band wouldn’t show up yet. They played dope musics that I recognize almost all of them on the big loud speakers. Because those songs were played in the LP radio station which i listened to. And I felt special as there seemed not much people know about it. A few group of people screamed

OK, I know I’ve spoke too much on the waiting thing. Lets move on. The band showed up finally at 8:30. Light out, screams burst out much stronger than before, because the thing that truly worth screaming at was there at last. And I can finally scream! Thats what I’ve been waiting for! Although I screamed with a higher pitch, which was kinda weird to me, I still enjoy it! I’m gonna let it all burst out tonight! There they go!

The Requiem – I knew this was the opening of every tour they went. Really cool intro. Makes me feel deep and awakening my soul.

Faint – OMG this one will rock my pants! I kept shaking my hands in the air I sung so loud that I think the person in front of me would probably think I’m annoying but I let it all out. And I screamed at the screaming part of the song which felt amazing I didn’t know I could actually scream like that, I can’t even hear my own voice though, I feel like I’m living!

Lying From You – Here you go! Mike will tell the fans to put their hands up and put them down in this song, so we did as he told. that was just awesome, i rapped all over it no matter how hot it was getting.

Given Up – This song really do brings up a lot of energy in the atmosphere. It heat up everyone here even more vigorously! And I screamed even more in it!

What I’ve Done – This one is different from the last few songs, more sadness than anger. And really gives me feeling. I thought about the mistakes I made in the last year.

No More Sorrow – After the sorrow has been brought up. Now its time to shake it away! C’mon! Let’s scream again! And how cool Mike was playing the major chord of the guitar! I actually followed his action on tTe guitar. What a dork I was! LOL.

From The Inside – I used my usual singing voice to sing this one. But I could hardly hear my own voice because the crowd was just so loud I can’t even hear the vocal of Chester and Mike clearly! So I didn’t know whether my voice was doing good. Anyhow I enjoy singing this song very much. It just matches my pitch very well.

Jornada Del Muerto – It was really impressive to see Mike singing Japanese live. I wanted to close my eyes to enjoy the music but I didn’t because I couldn’t help but keeping my eyes on him and sing with him.

Waiting For The End – I screamed very loudly when I heard the intro of this song although I knew they would play it after JDM. This is my favorite song. It says my pain and fear about ending and beginning. I once nearly cried listening to this song. I thought I was gonna cry in the concert but I didn’t because the crowd was too tight my body hurts. I thought my ribs were about to be crushed!

Burning In The Song – Awww… God bless me I love this song very much! I actually have always wondered what does the lyrics of this song mean but I just love the sound and vocals of it. And I got caught in some of the lyrics like But in the end we were meant to be apart, like separate chambers of a human heart, NO. I sung this with my soared and melted heart.

Numb – Another great song, I’ve always wanted to sing with Mike. This time I awkwardly forgot the minor vocal. Pity. But I figured that is actually weird to sing the minor vocals of every song. Because it is always more relieving to sing the major vocals as they’re often more powerful and expressive.

Iridescent – I regret that I wasn’t concentrate enough to enjoy this one. Because I was asking people around about the paper plane thing. I really love this song. But it seems like it has told me to let the pain go many times but i still cannot do so. Gosh…

The Radiance – Oh no, this one was funny. I got too high that i even tried to “sing” this!

Fallout – I recognize this is the intro of The Catalyst. Its Okay to sing this one I supposed. But the pitch doesn’t even fit. I know I was weird. LOL. But still enjoy Mike’s subtle vocal. His voice is perfect.

The Catalyst – The familiar music again. I started singing in Mike’s unique voice again. God bless us everyone we were broken people living under loaded gun! When I sing this I feel like I’m speaking out our pain. I feel strong here! Lift Me Up Let me go! I tried to imagine myself floating upward in the tightened crowd.

Shadow Of The Day – Then came this softness. I love how they try to put some softer songs in the middle of the powerful ones in every concert. We planned to put up our luminous objects in the air in this song. But my phone was out of my reach. So I didn’t do it. Just wanted to enjoy the song and sing it out loud. Oh how comfortable this was. My body was melting again!

In The End – Uhh…I thought that when this song play I will be supper thrilled. But no, I kept looking at Mike because I knew he was going to jump down to sing with us. I was like “C’mon here. Come here!” I  froze there just to watch his moves. I saw him walking towards the right side of the stage(My side), pointed down at something (Which I later found that was the paper planes the fans threw)and was like “omg, they did this?” funny looking. And then, very quickly he shifted left and jumped down the stage(I thought he would come to my side!). He climbed up to the fans and shook hands. It was just few meters away! Few METERS! I cried out loud “Ahuahuahuah!!” like that. I sounded like a crazy kid acting like a baby. My friend looked at me with a sad face. Telling me she felt the same too.This was the time I numbed for a few minutes. I kept thinking why didn’t he came to my side? Is it because I was too loud? Too crazy? Too tall? Too ugly? I’m a girl?? I was almost like shrunk and sinked down. Not screaming crazy anymore. Shut down. Later I told myself “C’mon idiot. You’re not gonna daydream in an LP concert, are you?” So I forced myself to keep my head up.

Bleed It Out(Drum solo+A Place For My Head) – I practiced this rap hard. But can still barely rap it well. So I was like mumbling and stuttering more than singing it. Whatever I just want to scream at this one. But somehow I started just opening and closing my mouth. Maybe I got tired and exhausted. APFMH is my favorite of their old album Hybrid Theory.

After this song was played. The music stopped. The bandmates walked away Everyone lost sight of them. I thought it was the end. And the end sucks so much I wanted to cry like a dissatisfied baby. We cried “Encore! Encore! Encore” I shouted few seconds and stopped because I think it won’t actually work as the leave when they want to leave. But then they came back, thank god they came back I was about to sink so low and drown. And then there it goes.

Empty Spaces – Intro of WTCFM, can’t wait for the rock pill!

When They Come For Me – I’ve always thought that this song makes me strong. Indeed. The lyrics was written by a strong person you know. Mike. I think as I sing this song all over. That the person in front of me would probably be annoyed again, “I’m awfully underrated, but came here to correct it. I’m opposite of weak, synonym of heat closest to a peak. ” It kind of made me strong. I suppose so. When Brad took out the speaker I wasn’t surprise at all. I knew that is part of the music. Some people think that was funny but I think that was actually professional and creative. And BTW I feel even stronger when I sing the Ehhh part.

Papercut – Mike told us to put our hands up again! Awesome! So we bounced high again! But my hands were soft because the heat and the tightness was making me sick. I love the vocals of this song very much.

New Divide – Aww! This one matches my feeling! LEt the floods cross the distance in your eyes, across this new divide! I don’t want to feel distance anymore! Rock on!

Crawling – I remember Mike has a special instrument just next to his keyboard. That one was magical to me. Because he just lifted his hands up and down like a wizard on that thing and that makes some cool special loops effects on the music. I don’t really remember when exactly he did that. But he definitely looked terrific and adorable. I sang the minor vocal here. Which later I found was a bit unusual because everyone else was singing the major vocal. I might have irritated the kid in front of me. But whatever. I just love the minor vocals!

One Step Closer – I knew this was the last song. They often put OSC  for the ending. So it was kinda sad but energetic. I’m About To,      BREAK!!!

At the end of the show. Although it was like twenty two songs they’ve played. But I still can’t get enough. They threw picks and drum sticks to the fans. Mike and Chester threw water bottles and towels also. They stood at the middle of the stage to let fans take photographs and to say goodbye. Chester gave out kisses which he always do in concerts. He really looked impressive at that. And then they left. The light were on again. I left with my legs and waist almost broken. I wanted to lie on the floor because my head was feeling heavy and light at the same time. But I have to leave. So I walked out of the stadium. Leaving with the thought of not getting high five from Mike…

I think this is the longest diary and english writing I’ve ever did. Thanks Linkin Park. For bringing me this amazing night for me. I really appreciate it. I understand you can’t manage to shake everyone’s hands. And I’m not crying out loud on that anymore. I’ll wait 5 years for you! Next time I’ll definitely join the LPU to M&G and get the best seat.

What happened to me these days…

Sigh. Since the day I got the message “Linkin Park is coming to Hong Kong”. I can hardly concentrate at anything. I was over the moon. But the long wait is about to end. Unexpectedly, maybe just for others. I should’ve known this result long ago. I feel kinda frustrated about it.

I had a thought to join the LPU annual membership for a long time(since i know they’re coming). But I didn’t. Because I considered too much. Until this thursday I almost freaked out. I was so afraid that I will miss the chance to see my idol face to face. I kept telling myself that theres hope, maybe I’ll be selected to the M&G. And it won’t hurt a lot if it failed. But it does. I want to find someone to blame. But how could I? Can I blame my friends not urging me to join earlier? Can I blame the LPU prize is too high? or can I blame my father of being not rich or supportive enough? No. So think its better to blame myself of being so late and stupid.

Is it meant to be this way? I’ll never have a chance to get to meet my idol because we’re people from two different world? But we’re the same type of people. We both love painting as kids. We both are people who don’t like lying to themselves, who want to work hard, who want to give something to the world. We both have frustrated times. Experienced a lot of pain, anger and being awfully underrated. I’ve never felt so close to a person. And its surprising(and sort of ridiculous…) to find that the dearest thing being with me in these two years, is him. He taught me just too much. And he’ll never know. I fell in love with art, with music, with painting because of him. I worked hard because of him(he’s a workaholic). I got good english because of him. I even tried to be nice to mean people because of him.

Now, here he is. He landed Hong Kong this morning. Which makes me feel like a rainbow arrived after a thunder storm. I thought he’ll arrive the day before the concert and maybe I’ll have a chance to meet him in the airport. In fact, I’ll have a chance to meet him if I wake up earlier and go to the airport… But who knows he’s landing this morning? I just checked twitter. His tweet I saw yesterday, when I was freaking out of not receiving the confirmation mail of M&G. I have ignored the tweet. I thought it was just something punny. “dear LAX”, LAX is the Los Angeles Airport… He gave us tips, he really did. But I ignored. Hah, how do you feel when being stupid for twice? What do I do? I tried to tell myself that I don’t necessarily be that persistent. The thought of him being a few(about 19) MTR stations away is very amazing already. And seeing him and his bandmates touring a few meters away on stage is even more exciting. So C’mon Orion, don’t think about the M&G. Something great has came to earth from the heaven! Just Enjoy The Music!*self comforting*

The Loudest

Folks of this beautiful land

I’m the greatest leader ever exist

Trust me so you could get paid

Trust me so i could get laid

I’ll give you all you need

All you need is what remained

I’ll take the least you have

All I’ll have is infinite of fame

I’m open to criticism

Freedom of speech is granted in this kingdom

But the heard goes to politician’s lips of wisdom

I’m deputy of transparency

Literally teetotal promised honesty

Inevitably trivialities are treated with apathy

I’m sorry

I’m not an autocrat

More of a democrat

I’m a republican

Don’t be afraid son

I’ll give you all you need

All you need is what remained

I’ll take the least you have

All I’ll have is the absolute respect and genuflect

Late On LookAtBook (via Mike Shinoda’s Blog)

The correct link is here: www.lookatbook.com

This is very interesting indeed. The few artists are actually discussing some philosophy stuffs through art.

A handful of artists from different cities, all contributing to one sketchbook, mailing it back and forth.  Happened a few years ago, but I just got the link this week.  Hope I hear about it earlier next time something like this goes on, ha. www.lookatbook.com … Read More

via Mike Shinoda's Blog

Shame [Acrylic]

My first try on acrylic paints. It was a mess, i tried to fix it. And it turns out not bad. But my brushes hurts… coz i had no idea how the acrylic works and used the wrong brushes to work it.Sunlight(Moonlight?)!

explanation: She was born to be a unicorn. But somehow she became a woman with a horse body. She has long beautiful curved hair. But her left arm is missing. She looked at the misty world in the forest gracefully. Theres a beautiful moon in the glittering night sky. Everything seemed nice and alright. But its not. something is weeping within.

Raise funds for Japan!

http://www.give2gether.com/projects/music-for-relief.oreo/